Reader questions and feedback on character issues. Also refer to honesty, courage, responsibility, honor, reliability, service, stealing, cheating, Ron Kurtus, School for Champions. Copyright © Restrictions
Answers to Readers' Questions on Character:
Ambition
The following 2 comments and questions have been sent in. They are listed according to date.
List of first 10 items
Son is staying at home and refuses to help out
Question
March 26, 2010
I have a son who is 29 years old. He has no form of transportation currently and doesn't seem to be concerned. He is still living in my home and doesn't want to lift his hand to do anything physical. His entire family thinks that he is lazy and I am trying to be considerate of his feelings. He has shown selfishness in many ways in the past. I will not go into explanation at this time due to the lengthiness of the situation. How should I go about informing him that he needs to get some ambition and quit depending on Mom? Your input would be greatly appreciated.
Sherry - USA
19438
Answer
It is easy to lack ambition when you have someone doing everything for you. Sometimes adult children that are staying at home fail to realize that they have some responsibility to and are no longer kids.
One thing to do is to have a talk with him and ask him if he has any plans for the future. Ask him if there is any type of job that he'd really like to get. Ask him is he can still see himself living at home when he's 40. You may not get any answers, because he may not know. However, it might get him thinking about things.
Besides that, tell him that you work very hard and that it is not right that he doesn't help out around the house. Then tell him that if he wants to stay at whole, there are some chores that he has to do in order to help his mother.
Another thing is to tell him that he will have to start paying room and board. It doesn't have to be much, but even $10 a week will make him realize he is no longer a child that someone is taken care of.
The worst thing in the world is to try to be considerate of his feelings. That doesn't do him any favors. On the other hand, having others tell him he is lazy also is not a positive approach.
You want to encourage him to seek out his dreams. Giving him some responsibility is a start in the right direction.
I hope these ideas help. Best wishes and helping her son move toward success.
How to get the right amount of ambition?
Question
February 22, 2010
So how do you maintain the balance between having too much ambition and having too little? How can i know that I have the right amount of ambition?
Jeddida - Kenya
19272
Answer
A person with too little ambition is usually considered lazy. However, some have not found the motivation and the means to inspire their ambition.
A person with too much ambition can be obsessed with achieving his goal and reaping the rewards. Sometimes that can be good in the short-term and is called determination. However, an overly ambitious person may be greedy and even ruthless in achieving his goals. His life has no balance.
You want to find something you want to get or want to achieve and be ambitious in moving toward your goal. But also, it is not only winning or getting a reward that is important, but it is also the desire to grow, to do your best and to be proud of your achievement. Good ambition also involves helping others. A man who is ambitious for his family is seldom overly ambitious. If he cares for his family, he also will not be lazy.
Seek to grow and to help those around you, and you should have the right amount of ambition.
Best wishes in your success.
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