Reader questions and feedback on character issues. Also refer to honesty, courage, responsibility, honor, reliability, service, stealing, cheating, Ron Kurtus, School for Champions. Copyright © Restrictions
Answers to Readers' Questions on Character:
Stealing
The following 35 comments and questions have been sent in. They are listed according to date.
List of first 10 items
- Got caught stealing at Wal-Mart
- Stole something a year ago
- Stealing is bad
- Friend's son caught stealing
- Got caught stealing and wonders if he can get a visa
- Just got caught stealing
- Worried after stealing from Wal-Mart
- Stole something from retail store
- Almost got caught stealing at Wal-Mart
- Trying to pay back money that was stolen
Got caught stealing at Wal-Mart
Question
June 21, 2009
me and two of my friends got caught stealing in walmart yesterdayand i was the one that walked out with the purse but i didnt have anything for me in there but a shirt... they called the cops cuz it was 75 dollars worth of stuff and i dont know what to do i am freakin out if i get put on probation i will get kicked off drill team please help me out i dont know what to do i prayed to god every second of the day my best friend was the one that was putin everything in the purse i dont know waht to do i lost every bit of trust with my mom and everything and it is the worst feeling of the world expecially when she told me she isnt just dissapointed she is very dissapointed :( please help
- USA
17932
Answer
I don't have to tell you that you got yourself in a lot of trouble and have disappointed a lot of people, especially your mother. And $75 worth of stuff would be a lot of money for Wal-Mart to lose, but it wouldn't make you rich.
If you haven't been caught stealing before and have a good record at school, you might be able to get the manager at Wal-Mart to drop the charges.
Perhaps you or your mother could talk to the manager at Wal-Mart to ask if there is some way they can drop the charges. The only problem is that they may have a strict policy about it or that once it goes to the police, it is out of their hands. But it doesn't hurt to try.
Whether or not you get put on probation or get kicked off the drill team, it certainly is a lesson learned not to steal. Also, you might question whether it is good to have a friend who would get you into such a jam.
You need to start with your mother and tell her how sorry you are about it, how you have learned a lesson and will be changing your ways. But also expect some punishment from her. At the very least, you will be grounded for a while.
Note that word will get around to your other friends about how you got caught. If they say something, you have to let them know you learned your lesson.
It is going to take a while for all this to blow over. I hope that Wal-Mart will let you off with just a "slap on the hand" and not make an example of you.
Best wishes for this to turn out OK.
Stole something a year ago
Question
May 29, 2009
Hi there, I read your page and found it very useful and informative. I just have 1 thing I've always felt bad about. Its about a year ago, I took some cologne from a shop. I did it sometimes, and luckily I did not get caught. But my friends said that they can check the camera to check out the case and maybe I will be caught.
Please help me about this. Is it true? Thank you
M. - Canada
17819
Answer
Although it was not good that you took some cologne from a shop, it is good that you have regrets about doing that.
Although many stores have cameras to monitor customers in case of shoplifting, they do not keep those tapes for more than a few weeks. So it is highly unlikely that you will be arrested after this long of time.
Certainly, don't steal again. It just isn't worth it.
Stealing is bad
Question
April 13, 2009
stealing is bad and freakin' bad. you can get yourself in too double trouble
Daniel - USA
17600
Answer
You're right. The money or goods you get just isn't worth the hassle that might come to you.
Friend's son caught stealing
Question
April 20, 2008
My best friends son was recently charged with second degree theft of books from his college bookstore (275 dollars worth) My daughter is friends with her son and she told me of the incident and said it was in their college newspaper. My question. should I inform my best friend about her son? I feel like a fraud having this information and her not knowing bout her sons indiscretions. I know for sure that she doesn't know and we have several upcoming events to attend too together. I know this is complicating and my daughter doesn't want me to say anything to my friend for fear of being the tattle tale. My reason for telling my friend would be to save her face because everyone else knows about the charge and to possibly help her son with any personal issues he might be going through. thank you for any feedback you can give me.
A - USA
15761
Answer
It is a difficult problem for you, but the best bet is to not get involved in their personal matters. Your friend may consider that you are meddling in their affairs.
Her son may have already told her about the incident, and she may want to keep this embarrassing situation to herself. It could be uncomfortable for her if you called her and told her you knew about it.
If her son did not tell her about getting caught stealing, he may want to solve his own problems without her finding out. But if he gets kicked out of school, he will have to tell her.
If she finds out that you knew about it, you can say that you thought she knew and that you didn't want to embarrass her by bringing it up.
It is a tough problem, but going to her and telling about it will only upset her and perhaps cause ill feelings. Let the situation take its own course.
I hope these ideas make sense. And I hope things work out for your friend and her family.
Got caught stealing and wonders if he can get a visa
Question
October 25, 2007
hi...i stole from a store in canada...canadian tire..i was 19...i stole
stuff worth 25$...socks....i was depressed and home sick...because i was an international student and there was no body around....as soon as i reached canada...i was informed that my dad is not doing well....n i became very depressed.....i don kno why i did such a foolish act...n i dont kno why all this happened...
i have been a scholar student through out my life...and have no criminal record beffore....so the store people called the police n i was charged and hired a lawyer....my home people kept contacting to tell me dad wa really ill...so i told my lawyer to represent me in court and left for my home country....and within a few months of my return i lost my dad.....my lawyer fought for me...and got me an acquittal and i pledged guilty......i got a conditional discharge....on 14th march 2007....for 6 months...so now i am reapplying to canada for a student visa to go to another university because i stopped my studies in between....my family is aware of the foolish act i have committed...n i repent a lot that i have done such a thing.....my main concern now is that can they deny me a student visa....if i say yes that i have done such a thing...a lot of people have also suggested me to hide this...but i cant my heart says no....i should go on the rite path....i have to be in the university by 27th dec 2007...and time is running out..i will apply soon...please help me....!!!
send me any suggestion as to what i should write on my visa form....!!i lost my dad n i really want a good education...im not the person that one day made me....
- Canada
14640
Answer
It almost sounds like you stole something as a subconscious way to justify going back to your home country. I am glad you realize it was wrong and have remorse for it.
Many countries do not readmit convicted felons into their country on a visa. But since you received and acquittal, that probably means you will not be prevented to get a student visa to Canada.
You should contact your lawyer to find out about Canada law in order to verify that you will be able to get another visa. Also find out the level a charges against you and if this will be on your record. The lawyer should be able to give you advice on getting the visa and what information about this incident you must disclose.
If your acquittal puts this as a minor incident, you will not have to say that you have committed a crime on any documents. It is always best to be honest, but it is also good to know the rules so that you do not disclose more than you need to.
I am sorry to hear that you lost your father, and I hope that things will work out for you to get a good education. At the very least, it is a good lesson that will make you a better person in the future.
Best wishes in your education.
Just got caught stealing
Question
July 19, 2007
Hey, I just got caught stealing from a retail store about 2 weeks ago and I feel really bad. I stole about 74 dollars worth of stuff. The LP people stopped me as I was walking out and took me to the back room. I'm 20 years old and they asked me for my ID, phone number and address. I gave them all that information and kept apoligizing because i couldnt believe it. It was my first time!! They made me sign some papers and said that i should be getting a letter in the mail asking to pay a fine. They did not call the cops either. What will the letter say? Will i have to go to court? Is there still a possibility that i might go to jail? Will this be on my record? If my job does a background check, will it show? I'm so nervous and havent really slept since it happened.
- USA
14095
Answer
I am sure you are kicking yourself for doing a stupid thing like that. $74 isn't worth screwing up your life.
The fact that they didn't call the police right away is in your favor. Often a store will simply keep the information in their files in case you get caught again. Personally, I wouldn't ever go to that store again.
Since it has been two weeks already, there is a good chance they won't follow up on it. But if they do and you have to pay a fine, then just take care of the matter. I doubt that the police will be involved or that you will have to go to court. But if you do, apologize some more and offer to pay restitution, public service or whatever. It is unlikely they would put you in jail for a first shoplifting offense. Also, it should not go on your records.
But, you can see all the possible consequences. Not only that, stuff that is stolen usually has a "dirty feel" to it. You feel better about things when you pay for them yourself.
I hope things work out for you and that you take this as a lesson learned. Spend your energy on doing good works to help people, as opposed to doing negative things.
Worried after stealing from Wal-Mart
Question
July 4, 2007
I was reading your page about stealing. I recently attempted to steal from walmart. I bagged 3 dvds in the store, and I know that the cameras seen me. Stupidly i walked around the store with the dvds knowing i was beeing watched. I then found a friend, who I walked to the cashier to try and play it off as if i was buying something. I put the 3 dvds down, then foolishly after we bought some cheap stuff put one of them into my plastic bag. After that, we walked out, and security stopped us in the parking lot. We made a run for it and I got away after dropping the walmart bag of goods in the parking lot but my accomplice got caught, but he was later sent home without any arrest as they found him with nothing. They beleive I still have 2 dvds, even though i left them in the store. Im not sure if they are going to forget about this incident or if they will persue to bring me to court over 2 stupid dvds they beleive I still have yet I got away with nothing. I learned my lesson, and will not steal, but have to live with the fear of police showing up at my house and possibly charging me with theft. I do not have any criminal record, and I have plans for the future. I wonder if it would be worth walmart the police hours and cost of prosecuting me for such a stupid incident, or would they just forget about the whole thing?
bill - Canada
14020
Answer
For the cost of the three DVDs, it certainly isn't worth stealing and then getting caught for it. Since security was involved, and your friend did not have any stolen goods on him, they may use the security cameras to try to identify you. But that is pretty difficult in the case of petty shoplifting, and they may not bother. But even if Wal-Mart decides not to pursue you and press charges, you still need to worry. You never know if your accomplice may start bragging about the situation to other people, thus giving you a bad reputation or perhaps getting you in trouble.
The big thing is that stealing is not worth the problems that can cause in your life if you get caught. There is also the expression "what comes around, goes around." That means if you steal, things will happen where people will steal from you. Finally, stealing is just morally not right and simply drags down your character.
I think you would rather be able to be proud of yourself and walk tall than to sneak around and steal things.
Stole something from retail store
Question
July 2, 2007
I have stolen today from a retail store. I wasn't caught, but i feel terribly guilty and ashamed of my actions. I dont know what to do. While i was there I purchased a few other items and used a credit card. Im nervous that they saw me take something and traced the cameras back to see whos credit card it was and they can find my information and still be prosecuted. I have the urge to go back to the store and admit what i have done and pay for what i stole. It was a horrible mistake, and i dont know what came over me at the time. I am so ashamed, and so scared. Is it possible for them to find out who i am since i paid with my card, and then prosecute me for it?
- USA
14012
Answer
Obviously, it was wrong for you to steal or shoplift items from the store, and I am glad to hear you feel guilty and ashamed. You wonder what got into you to do that?
It is difficult to offer advice on this. But I can give some options.
The problem with bringing the items back, admitting what you did, and offering to pay for them is that you can't be sure of their response. Most often they would want to make an example of you and have you arrested, even though you offered to pay for the items. You are taking a chance doing that.
On the other hand, you could put the items on the side along with some money. If they discovered the theft and trace it back to you, then you can say that you were planning to bring the stuff back or pay for it. This could make things easier for you, and they may drop or reduce the charges.
After a few days, if you haven't been contacted by the police, they probably did not notice the theft and didn't see you on the video cameras. You will have to sweat it out for several days to find out what happened.
If the police do not contact you, then it is time to make amends. You could bring the items back to the store and replace them on the shelves. Or you could donate them to some charity. The big thing is not to keep what you took, because it is tainted.
And certainly, never, ever steal again. It is not right and is not worth it.
I hope things work out for you, and that you take this as a valuable lesson in being honest.
Almost got caught stealing at Wal-Mart
Question
May 16, 2007
umm yes... i think the cameras at walamrt caught me stealing at walrt... i tried to stuff 2 shirts in my purse out of camera range welll i thought i got away with it...whne i went to self check out, the lady at the front got a phone call from someone and she kep looking at me and then when they thought my back was turned i think she told another emplyee that i had stolen something.. i layed it cool, finished my purchases, loaded my stuff in my kart and went to card sectiona and took out the shirts and returned them and i walked out and nohting happend... i was a little spooked.....will anyting happen to me... im not suer if the camras saw me return the stuf or not.. i will never try this again ever...
- USA
13794
Answer
You are lucky on two counts. First, that you realized someone had seen you trying to shoplift the shirts. The second is that you returned them and did not try to get away with the theft.
Often they will wait until you have left the store before arresting you for shoplifting. They may have seen you return the goods, thus they could not arrest you for stealing.
The good thing about this is that it is a lesson learned. It is not worth the price of two shirts to get arrested, to pay a fine, and to be humiliated. If your family found out that you had been caught stealing, they certainly would have been ashamed.
I'm glad that you will never try this again. It's always better to be honest.
Trying to pay back money that was stolen
Question
April 20, 2007
i have stolen about four thousand in small amounts and ever since i began doing it, i promised that i would put it back in without my bosses knowing. i did it because i was behind in bills, motgage etc. i dont know weather i should start paying it back slowly or weather i should come out with it and tell them. of course it will mean being fired from my job and loss of trust and belief from family and close friends whom are involved. help please.
- Australia
13619
Answer
Although you have good intentions of returning the money, the consequences of getting caught is certainly greater than being behind in your bills. It is a good idea to learn to take care of your finances, so that you won't get into such a problem being behind in payments.
If you tell your bosses what you have done, there is a good chance that you would be punished just as if you had been caught stealing. Plus, you lose the trust for everyone.
You could start carefully paying it back slowly, so as not to arouse any suspicions or questions. You don't know if they noticed that some money was missing, but if they noticed there is some extra money, they may ask you if you know anything about it. In such a case, you can claim ignorance.
Although we are against stealing and emphasized honesty, we also realize that a person who is sorry for his misdeeds he and who is trying to make amends must be careful. Sometimes you can say you're sorry and be punished more severely than if you had been caught in the act.
In summary, carefully try to pay back the money, but don't admit what you have done. Also, never, ever steal again. It isn't worth it.
Summary
Hopefully, this reader feedback has helped provide information about Character issues.
Always do your best
Resources
The following are some resources on this topic.
Websites
Books
What do you think?
Do you have any questions, comments, or opinions on this subject? If so, send an email with your feedback. We will try to get back to you as soon as possible.
Feel free to establish a link from your website to pages in this site.
Where can you go from here?
Answers to Readers' Questions