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Feedback Q&A on Excellence

by Ron Kurtus

Readers have sent in a total of 206 comments and questions on Excellence issues. They are listed according to date.

You can read them to further your understanding of the subject.

List of next 10 letters




Alessandra Platinum Rule How do emotions fit in with personality types? Finland
Confidence WBT Starts shivering when speaking to a group India
Confidence WBT Wants to gain confidence speaking to his class NIGERIA
Firewalk Attended a great Firewalk Canada
Confidence Afraid to go out for fear of being beaten up USA
Confidence Engineer fears doing technical tasks INDIA
Marines What are the Marines and their purpose? USA
Confidence WBT Gaining confidence in something I have never done before USA
Confidence Has problems speaking to a group South Africa
Confidence I get lazy about exercising every day UK

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First 10 letters

How do emotions fit in with personality types?

Topic: Alessandra Platinum Rule


July 12, 2007

But the emotions? And their overall impact?

Koski - Finland



I think the "Platinum Rule" of doing unto others as they would do unto themselves is more valid than the "Golden Rule", but I'm not sure how Alessandra connects the use of behavior styles with the rule.

These behavior styles relate to inner drives of people, how they relate to others, and their attitude toward tasks. Emotions can come into play if someone wants desperately something, if someone contradicts the person, if there is a failure or lose, or other ways.

For example, the emotions of a Director personality is that the person loves power and control over others. He would get angry if someone refuses to respond to his will.

So, the emotions can be driving forces with these different types, as well as the responses they give.

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Starts shivering when speaking to a group

Topic: Confidence WBT


July 11, 2007

dear sir/madam

my problem is i can't speak to more persons. if i will speak to more persons while i will be shivering. so i want your suggession about this problem.


Sudheer - India



Take a look at our section on Public Speaking. See "Overcoming the Fear of Speaking to Groups" at:

Also look at the reader feedback for that lesson. I think it will give you some good ideas about being able to speak to more people.

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Wants to gain confidence speaking to his class

Topic: Confidence WBT


June 8, 2007

HOW DO I GAIN CONFIDENT.This question has been in my mind all this years.My problem is that each time i make a public speech or intend to,my whole body is covering with fear and my mouth shivering.In my class i could not stand to raise a speech or an motion eventhough i was pointed to raise a mtion/speech on a simple topic which i know very well i could not talk . i will rather be shame. could one lives in this state and expact prosperity,popularity amongst people. my question is HOW DO I DEVELOP COURAGE AND CONFIDENT. and to overcome fear. Above all, i want to be conqueror of fear.




The more you practice speaking to a group, the better you get and the greater your confidence. When you talk to your friends, think of things you say as short speeches. If you hold their attention, congratulate yourself in silence. This will help you get used to speaking when you get in front of larger groups, like in class.

If you are giving a formal speech, you must be well prepared and practice it many times. You should practice it a few times in front of friends before you give it to a group. Keep an outline of the speech, so you won't have fears of forgetting.

When you answer questions in class or raise a motion, think in terms of speaking very clearly, so that everyone will understand. You are not trying to impress anyone. You are trying to pass on information that everyone wants to hear. This will give you more confidence, when you know you are simply trying to communicate to them.

I hope these ideas help. Also, see our lessons on Public Speaking at:

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Attended a great Firewalk

Topic: Firewalk


June 4, 2007

I attended a GREAT Firewalk this past May 07 in Niagara. I believe they are holding another Firewalk in the Fall. It really changed my perspective... I feel as though I can meet any challenge --- and be so much more than I thought possible. Check them out
(1hour from Toronto for the person who was inquiring).
Nat ~ from Niagara

- Canada



Thanks for the feedback. Yes, it is a great experience. You see those hot embers and think you'll never walk on them. But once you overcome your fears, it ia great.

We'll check the website.

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Afraid to go out for fear of being beaten up

Topic: Confidence


May 18, 2007

hello i am trying to build my confidence for going places and getting out of the house, but my fear is that i might get beaten up or something, have you got any tips for me?

aaron - USA



If you live in a bad area or you simply have fears of someone attacking you, you can gain confidence by discouraging people from beating you up.

One thing you can do is to dress in black. People are often wary of someone who dresses all in black. Another thing you can do is to carry some object that will make a person think twice about causing trouble. Carrying a billy- as it is club will discourage people. My uncle used to carry an umbrella with him at all times, because he had been mugged several times. If some punks came toward him, he would raise the umbrella as if to strike them.

Look at yourself in the mirror before you go out to make sure you appear as someone that will not accept being beaten up.

Although this may help you gain confidence, you also need to consider the threat. Is it a real threat? Are there people who really want to beat you up? Why do they want to do that? You need to take these into consideration.

Best wishes on improving your confidence and courage.

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Engineer fears doing technical tasks

Topic: Confidence


May 4, 2007

sir am engineer ...
my problem is that fear doing techinical task
like if anything goes wrong , and so many negative thinking in mind ,
so how to over come this type of fear , due that no confidence on myself
tell me some tips to avoid the fear to get confidence

praveen - INDIA



With a technical task, you should have requirements or specifications clearly defined. You need to understand the requirements before you can proceed. Most problems come from poorly defined specs.

Then the task should be planned out and broken into small steps or mini-tasks that are easy to complete. Give yourself credit as you complete them and move closer to finishing the project.

If you think of the whole task, it may be overwhelming and cause fear. But looking at the smaller steps, you know they will be easy to complete.

Also, realize that in technology and engineering, sometimes there are failures in tests and tasks. But if you have a good plan, you will have the confidence to overcome such a setback by using a new strategy.

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What are the Marines and their purpose?

Topic: Marines


April 7, 2007

what i need to know is what do marines do what is their purpose.
what is the daily routine of a marine.
and what jobs if any do they have in the marines because all the sites i have checked dont mention a thing

Ronnie - USA



The U.S. Marines Corps is a special branch of the armed services that takes on the toughest jobs in the battlefield. The daily routine depends on what role or job the person has. You can be anything from an infantryman to a cook to an electronics technician in the Marines. It depends on your training and what you want to pursue.

A good site for information about the Marines is at:

More specific information and news is at:

You could also go to a local recruiting center and get some information on the Corps.

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Gaining confidence in something I have never done before

Topic: Confidence WBT


March 13, 2007

Dear sir,
Thank you for the rich information on the site. i want to know whwther you can be confident to do something you have never done or have an ideal about it or donnot know how to do it? for example, i have never touch a computer. if i am afriad to touch it because i donnot know what will happen; is that lack of confident?
thank for you rely in advance.
yours sincerely

compassion - USA



Yes, you can become confident in something you have never tried. If you look back at things you have successfully completed that were difficult or that you have never done before, you can realize that you are clever enough and brave enough to overcome other unknowns. In other words, you are not only confident in being able to do a specific task over again, but you realize that you have what it takes to do other things successfully as well.

But another thing to overcome is the fear of the unknown. Some people have a personality where they are more cautious and less apt to take risks. In such a case, a method to use is to ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen if I tried this and failed?" That might give you some perspective on trying things that may be new or fearful.

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Has problems speaking to a group

Topic: Confidence


February 19, 2007

I know I am good,I can write good strategy and even present them among people that I know, but as soon as I get to stand up in podium and present my ideas. I start to mumble and then feel anxious to finish and then I don't do a good job. I am never afraid of challenges, everytime there is a huge task to be done I offer myself and do a good job, but I just lack confidence to speak out my ideas eloquently as I put them down on paper or think about them

Letsholo - South Africa



Is not lack of confidence when speaking to a group, but it is lack of preparation and practice that causes the problems.

See our lessons on overcoming the fear of speaking to a group at:

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I get lazy about exercising every day

Topic: Confidence


February 10, 2007

if you feel you just can't carry on for example exercising you exercise for one day then have a break for a day then exercise the next day and then you just can't carry on and then you feel lazy

azeem - UK



Some say that it is better to exercise every other day, so that your body can recover. Your motivation also gets rejuvenated after a break.

One good reason for exercising is improved health. You should feel you have more energy he next day after exercising.

I like to exercise in a sport or game that is vigorous and is also enjoyable. Then, I look forward to another game.

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