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Feedback Q&A on Success in Life

by Ron Kurtus

Readers have sent in a total of 112 comments and questions on Success in Life issues. They are listed according to date.

You can read them to further your understanding of the subject.

List of next 10 letters




Be Anxious to Get Up Wondering if there is something better in life USA
Intellect Does hanging around affect your mental growth? Britiain
Satisfying Life How do I start a successful business? Kenya
Toronto Model How valid is the Toronto Quality of Life concept? UK
Satisfying Life Thinking of starting own business to imrpove my life Kenya
Satisfying Life How do I reduce tensions in my life? Pakistan
Attitude Everything is really going bad in my life South Africa
General How do you overcome procrastination? USA
Formula Activities I really enjoy Cambodia
Attitude Material help me relax Philippines

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First 10 letters

Wondering if there is something better in life

Topic: Be Anxious to Get Up


December 19, 2007

I'm 43 years old and this article hit home. Ironically, the last few days, when waking up and about the time my feet hit the floor I can hear my voice in my mind ask out loud "Why are you here?", "What are you doing with your life?", "What makes you get up everyday?", "Is this job taking you where you want to go?" It is an amazing moment of clarity that stirs me at first and then gets quickly clouded by the routine of the day. Maybe it's mid-life crisis but I feel like I'm missing some very important task or goal or direction that I should be heading. I don't want to lose that feeling because it starts to drive my mind to look at the possibilities of the remainder of my life. I have more to offer - I just don't know how or in what capacity.

Troy - USA



It is not unusual for a person to find that his job is no longer satisfying or fulfilling. Many people realize there is something else they'd rather be doing or that they need a change in direction. And that doesn't necessary happen as a mid-age crisis.

I met a fellow who had a degree in chemistry, but after working in the field for only three years, he realized that he didn't care that much for the job. So he went back to school and got a degree in accounting. He said it is much more satisfying work for him.

Do some soul-searching and looking at the things you really enjoy and have liked to do throughout your life. Make a list of what you don't like about your job, as well as the things you like to do. Are there any jobs where you could be doing things you like to do? Do you know anyone who is doing something you'd like to do?

It is a tough process, because it is going into feelings that have been set in your subconscious. Also, there may be things you love, but there is no way you could make enough money to live on in that field. But just keep looking.

Switching careers is common these days. The big problem is finding that area of work that you really would enjoy.

You don't want to look back when you get to retirement age and feel that you wish you would have made a switch to something else long ago.

Keep looking until you get that inspiration. Best wishes, and let me know how things turn out.

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Does hanging around affect your mental growth?

Topic: Intellect


December 17, 2007

Does hanging around with people instead of growing your knowledge affect your mental growth?

Yoram - Britiain



It depends on who you hang around with and what you talk about and do. Note that many intelligent people and successful businessmen "hang around" or socialize with other successful people as a form of relaxation. Their conversations help their mental growth, and their friendships help their success.

On the other hand, hanging around with people who complain, who have no goals in life, or who only want to talk trash will not only prevent you from growing mentally, but will also drag you down emotionally. A potentially smart person will not gain knowledge or much of anything from hanging around with these people.

Pick your friends wisely.

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How do I start a successful business?

Topic: Satisfying Life


November 24, 2007

how do i start a successful business?

wilfred - Kenya



First, look at what you are really interested in. Also consider your skills and what you are good at. This can determine the area for the business.

Then, look around at what others are doing in the area of business. Try to get a good idea of something you can provide that others want and need and that you would enjoy providing them. This could be products or services. Also talk to people who own various businesses around your community to get pointers from them, as well as to see about legal requirements and local ordinances you may have to consider.

Once you have a great idea that excites you with its potential, you can plan how you will set up the business, where it will be located, how you will advertise and let others know about your business, and how much money it will cost to get started.

Some people have enough money to start a small business, renting a place to have a store and buying a small amount of product to sell. Others have bigger plans and seek funding from investors. But note that investors now own part of the business.

Finally, start your business on a trial basis. You can them determine if it is a good idea and make adjustments as needed.

I hope this helps. Best wishes in starting a successful business.

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How valid is the Toronto Quality of Life concept?

Topic: Toronto Model


October 16, 2007

i wanted to know how reliable and valid the Toronto Quality of Life questionnaire is?
in addition can it be used on Brain Injury patients?

trina - UK



The U. of Toronto Quality of Life concept seems like a good approach. See: They had planned on having a scoring system for it, but have not done much with it for several years. It might be worth contacting their Centre for Health Promotion from to see if their concepts will fit your needs.

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Thinking of starting own business to imrpove my life

Topic: Satisfying Life


October 10, 2007

hallo am mike from kenya working as a driver,am 27yrs n i sometimes feel frustated in life wondering what life has to offer.i think of starting my own small business but i fear quiting my job cause ive no other source of income.ive tried reading inspiration books but they dont seem to change me.what can i do to raise up and become someone in the society and change the lives of so many people like me?please help

Michael - Kenya



First of all, you need to consider what type of things you really enjoy doing. Also, look at the special skills or talents you have. What are you good at? Often people enjoy doing things they are good at. Your talents and your dreams are the starting point. Write down your goals and look at those goals every day.

Take advantage of your job as a driver. Talk to people and observe. If you can find some products or services that people want and that fit in with your skills, you may be able to get a great idea for a business to start. There has to be a need for something that you can provide. Knowing people and what they want is important. But also knowing people that can help you is just as important.

Good businesses go on the philosophy of helping people to get what they want and need. With the attitude of helping people, you can succeed.

Unless you have been able to save up enough money to live on for 6 months, it is difficult to quit your job to start a new business. Many start on a part-time basis, keeping their regular job until they get established. Talk to people who own small businesses and ask them how they got started. You can learn a lot from them.

Reading for education about running a business and about success is good, but you also need to go out and do things. Talk to people and learn from them. Try things. If something does not work, learn from it and try something else.

The fact that you want to advance yourself is the first big step. Keep moving in the positive direction, and I know you will succeed.

Best wishes in your efforts.

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How do I reduce tensions in my life?

Topic: Satisfying Life


September 27, 2007

first of all, this website is a very fantabulous one. thank you very much for making such a beautiful website.

there are many tensions in my life. how to reduce them?

hammad - Pakistan



One major source of tension is the rush to do things according to some deadline. Someone at work hurries you to finish a job, you are rushing to get things done, as well as trying to do too many things at once can create tension and stress. If you are rushed too much, simply try to slow down. Pushing too hard results in not doing things well, plus tension.

Social relationships can also bring on much tension, if there are disagreements, undue pressure, or negative comments toward you. If you can, seek to associate with agreeable people. Also, try to listen to what others have to say. Often they will then calm down.

When you feel tense, get away from the source of tension and then try an exercise of breathing slowly and deeply, exhaling through your mouth. Do that for 8 breaths. You will notice you feel more relaxed and be able to cope better with things.

I hope these ideas help.

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Everything is really going bad in my life

Topic: Attitude


September 8, 2007

everything is really going bad in my life, home, work, personal me, personal others. i cannot get over this. i have no one to relate to, no one to advise me, no leader, no friends. and i can clearly not make correct choices, judgment on matters. please help.

estee - South Africa



Although it is difficult to do when you have many problems, it is good to find a quiet place and then make a list of all the good things you have. Don't look at the bad part of things, but try to appreciate your blessings, especially compared to what some other people have.

Do you have reasonable health? Do you have family? Do you have enough to eat? Look at the little things and appreciate them. This is your starting point to improve your life.

It is difficult to change when you are down, but you must make a goal to get things better in your life. Make another list of your dreams and what you would like to experience in your life. Keep that list and look at it often to move you in that direction.

Realize that no one really wants to hear your problems. But people may be willing to give advice and suggestions. Try to be upbeat and friendly with people, even those who may not act nice to you. Their attitude may change.

Finally, consider your interests. Seek people that have the same interests. These can be your new friends and ones that may relate to you.

I hope these ideas help. I know it is difficult when things seem bad, but they will only make you stronger as you overcome them and turn things around.

Best wishes on getting things good again.

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How do you overcome procrastination?

Topic: General


July 22, 2007

3 questions:

1. how do you improve at something you are already good at?

2. how do you improve at something you're not so good at

3. how do you overcome procrastination which keeps you from improving?




You can tell you are good at something by being able to readily complete tasks in the activity or according to some judgment criteria. You improve by setting up greater personal challenges or moving into competition at a higher level. If you don't have to struggle, the task isn't fun and you don't grow.

In some things you may not be good at them because of lack of training and experience. As you pursue your goals in that area, you will slowly improve. Of course, you need some motivation to try to get better.

But there are some activities where talent is the driving factor. If you are tone deaf and can't sing very well, you might improve a little with practice and training, but you probably will never be very good at it.

Procrastination is making a decision. Usually, it is deciding to do something easy, as opposed to doing something difficult, like trying to improve.

Write down what you want to achieve and how you want to improve in an area. Write down the outcome you can envision. Then look at the activities you do are part of your procrastination, like watching cartoons on TV or talking to friends on the telephone. Put those items to the side and don't let them interfere with achieving the things you have written down.

It's not easy, but that is one way to overcome procrastination.

Best wishes on becoming in champion in your endeavors.

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Activities I really enjoy

Topic: Formula


May 29, 2007

Here are my activities i really enjoy
I like playing game so much ( the kind of adventure ).
I like seeing a movie ( the kind of investigation )
I like giving advice to others because i have read alot of books since i was child. Each books all relate to self-improvement and management;anyway, in the meaning of each books always prove me advice and the theory of the famous person in the world such as Napoleon and so on...., which show me how to be an effective manager or a good person. And what i like the most are the advice and the the theory of the famous person. Other activity is discussing or working as a group. i like working as a group or discussing with my friends, especially when my teacher give us a topic or do research about something. i reallly like this activity. Moreover, i'm good at speaking. i speak alot when i stay at home or with my family, but when i'm with others beside my family or my close friends i seldom speak, espicially when i'm at school, i seldom speak to others, so my classmate or my teacher consider me as a gentle student in the class; anyway, when i have a presentation or stand in front of others, i'm always afraid to speak to them, but i can do it well or get the high score anyway. Regarding to my goal, i want to be a manager, but i don't konw what kind of manager i should be because of many kinds of mananger such as hotel and resturant manger, office manager, marking manager etc...;moreover, i want to join conference, workshop or meeting, or i can work at abroad. In brief, i myself want to have reputation, a good position in society espicially i want to be a good manager that make an contritubtion or share what i have to others espicially in my career in order to get better. So could you tell me what kind of manager i should be or subject that i have to choose to study.

I hope you can give me a good idea

Thank indeep.

chea - Cambodia



It is good that you are able to write down many of the things you enjoy doing, your skills, and what you would like to do.

Reading books is a strong skill and a way to greatly increase your knowledge. Reading about how others lived their lives can be inspiring.

In order to advance in a job to become a manager, it is good to have presentation skills. Even if you feel nervous giving talks and presentations, learning to do that effectively is important. It is good to take a course in presentation and speaking to help you.

Taking courses in business and business administration will help you become a manager. But you usually will need to work your way up in a specific company or business in order to become a manager. You really should enjoy the business activity for you to be an effective manager in it.

Although becoming a manager is a long-range goal, you really need to decide on a skill and area of work. It has to be an area that you enjoy and even love. What is your very favorite class? What jobs relates to working in that area?

For example, a person who wanted to be a hotel manager should really be interested in the hospitality business along with all the behind-the-scenes activities in running a hotel.

A good idea is to think of manager jobs you might be interested in and getting a chance to talk to managers in those fields. Often they would be glad to explain what they do and how they got their jobs and such. It is almost like reading a success book, except you are talking to real people. But note that it is sometimes scary to approach such people. So start near home.

Keep your list.
Update it.
Divide it into three sections: what you like to do, what you are good at, and jobs you might want to get.

I hope these ideas help.

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Material help me relax

Topic: Attitude


May 25, 2007

i took a relaxation time when i read your link.thank you so much, hope you will always provide me a copy of your every information so i can apply it and learn more.thank you ...

Shane Josette - Philippines



I am glad that the material has been helpful to you. Feel free to look through our other lessons that may be useful to you.

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