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Feedback Q&A on Success in Life

by Ron Kurtus

Readers have sent in a total of 112 comments and questions on Success in Life issues. They are listed according to date.

You can read them to further your understanding of the subject.

List of next 10 letters




Make a Wish Correct Make-a-Wish wording USA
General I am not consistent with anything USA
General How do I get started as a speaker? Zambia
Success Secrets Want to achieve but I am shy and timid Nigeria
General I want to become a champion Nigeria
General How can I overcome shyness? Uganda
Success Secrets Attorney wants to be an international speaker Jamaica
Formula Have problems with my life India
General Mother has been smoking weed USA
Spiritual What motivates people to imagine the unknown? Philippines

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First 10 letters

Correct Make-a-Wish wording

Topic: Make a Wish


May 19, 2014

Just a comment on the content that you have on your site.

"One solution to this problem is to look at the Make-a-Wish Foundation. This is an organization that tries to satisfy the last big wish of terminally ill children."

Terminally-ill is NO LONGER correct verbiage. "We grant the wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy"

Just thought you might want to have that corrected on your site.

Thank you!




Thanks for your feedback. I corrected the wording in Make a Wish for the Rest of Your Life.

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I am not consistent with anything

Topic: General


May 15, 2014

I am not consistent with anything in my life:
--being on time
--eating habits
--basically everything

Need immediate change.


Joe - USA



It is good that you are aware of areas that need improvement in your life. Many people just go along making the same old mistakes. You have a good list of things to work on.

Being reliable means that you are good for your word and do what is promised. When you are unreliable, you are putting the other person on the spot. If you can't do something, don't promise. If something comes up, be considerate and let the other person know.

Realize that the person who is habitually late is being inconsiderate and saying that his time is more important. However, many people just always seem to be late for everything. My cousin and her husband were like that, so they set their clocks 20 minutes fast so that they would be on time. It seemed silly, but it worked for them.

The best type of exercise is the type that is fun. Get involved in playing some games or doing exercising of some sort with a friend or in a group. It isn't such a drudgery then.

Try to eat healthy foods at dinner time and avoid sugary, salty, and fatty snacks.

Make a list of the things you want to improve on:
-- Be reliable and on time, so people can count on you
-- Do enjoyable exercises several times a week, and eat healthy foods.

The fact that you want to improve is a first major step. Best wishes in succeeding in your goals. I'm sure you have it in you.

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How do I get started as a speaker?

Topic: General


February 15, 2014

How do I get started as a speaker minus resources eg books what can I do?

chelete - Zambia



First, you need to have a subject to speak about. It should be something of interest to others. See Succeed in Speech Writing for ideas.

Try to write a speech that takes 5 minutes to read. That is a good start.

Also see Succeed in Public Speaking for more information.

Try to attend speeches in your area to see how others do it. Also, seek opportunities to give your speech to small groups at work, around your community, and such.

I hope this helps you start on becoming a speaker. Best wishes.

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Want to achieve but I am shy and timid

Topic: Success Secrets


February 4, 2014

Good day Sir/Ma. I want to achieve my goals, but my problem is that am too shy. I can't withstand the crowd.. I dont have confidence on myself, and i didn't finish school... Please advice me both on how i can eradicate timidity. Bright is the name.

bright - Nigeria



You may be shy about approaching and talking to strangers, but I am sure you are not shy when talking to your family and friends. You can have the same confidence in talking to strangers by being yourself.

Do not try to impress others who may affect your goals. Instead, observe them to know something to talk about. Then ask the other person a question about his or her interests. Even something simple as, "What do you think of this weather?" can start a conversation. Then talk about the other person's interests.

It is good to be prepared to tell about yourself, if asked. You can tell what you do or enjoy.

To gain confidence, think of all the things you have achieved. And when you do something, give yourself praise. Say to yourself, "Goo job, Bright." This will help increase your confidence.

Finally, note that the best sales people are not those who talk a lot. Instead, the best ones are those who listen to the customer and ask questions. Some may say they are timid, but they do the best job.

I hope these ideas help you become the champion you are destined to become.

PS: Make an effort to study to complete your education.

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I want to become a champion

Topic: General


January 29, 2014

I want to become champion

Alexander - Nigeria



You are off to a good start by having such a goal. Define areas in which you want to excel, make plans, and seek to achieve your goals.

Do not be afraid to ask others for help in achieving your goals. And also be will to help others in their efforts. That will make you a champion to them.

The journey to become a champion is what is important. Keep pushing forward.

Best wishes. I know you will be a success.

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How can I overcome shyness?

Topic: General


January 23, 2014

How can overcome shyness in life because its making my life failur

RAYHAN - Uganda



Being shy can make you very uncomfortable when among strangers. But consider that you are not shy when you are with your family and friends. So, it is possible to act the same way with others.

Think of the things you enjoy doing, what you are interested in, and what you are good at. That is what is important about you. Also, when you achieve things, congratulate yourself on it, because that increases your confidence.

Some people are very talkative, while others are quieter. They say that the better sales person is not the one who talks a lot. Instead it is the quiet person who listens to the customer.

Try to observe people and listen to what they have to say. People like those who listen. Even if you are somewhat shy, you can ask questions that will soon allow you to reduce your shyness.

Overcoming shyness takes some effort, so you have to work at it.

A failure is a person who has given up. If you keep trying to improve, you will soon be able to deal with others, not be shy, and become a champion and success in life. I know that you have it in you to succeed.

I hope these idea help. Best wishes in a successful life.

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Attorney wants to be an international speaker

Topic: Success Secrets


December 19, 2013

I am an Attorney and Talk Show host and was the Minister of Energy Mining and Telecommunications in Jamaica. I have decided to commit to be being a professional public speaker, although it could be argued that I am already one,on an International scale is there any advice as to how to go about doing this and being identified for engagements?

Clive - Jamaica



It is important to pick the type of audience to which you want to speak. Certainly, you need an appealing topic. Do you want to give motivational speeches, business speeches, keynote addresses related to your background.

It is good to develop a 15 minute speech that you can give to local business and service organizations for free. That allows you to hone a longer speech to give to larger groups.

Try to hear speakers in your area and get a chance to talk to them about speaking issues.

Read this article in the Jamaica Observer: "Former bar president admitted to National Speakers Association".

You can get some information from the National Speakers Association website. Unfortunately, they do not have a chapter in Jamaica.

You also might check with local Speakers Bureaus that can give you advice and perhaps help to book you.

I hope these ideas help. Best wishes for a successful speaking career.

Let me know how things turn out.

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Have problems with my life

Topic: Formula


October 14, 2013

I have some problems regarding my personal life. Could I ask some questions. Kindly reply me at the earliest.

Nasif - India



I can try to give some ideas that may be able to help you.

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Mother has been smoking weed

Topic: General


August 3, 2013

I'd like some advice on how to handle going back to my mothers house after being away for about 4 months.

It all started when I found what looked like a bag of weed in the basement and I took it because, well it looked like weed and I was furious, sad, confused (all kinds of things) because I knew it had to be my mothers (I grew up learning that drugs were bad and all of that stuff..). The day after I took it I looked up what weed looked like and it was weed (The room in the basement where I found it was locked as well so they knew something happened to it).

I kept it for another couple days (well buried it under snow outside because the smell actually started to leak from the bag) wondering how I should approach my mother about it, during that time I asked my younger brother what I should do because I had no one else to ask and I had no Idea what to do, but he didn't know what to do either. A couple more days passed and eventually at night when my mother was alone I just went up to her and told her I knew that she used weed, at first she denied it but I then told her that I had the bag and there was no point in trying to deny it.

After that she demanded I give it to her. I told her I wouldn't until she explained what she was doing with it (obviously she was smoking it, I'm not really sure what I wanted to hear). After that she went downstairs, about 30 minuets later I went down as well because I was getting very angry that she wouldn't explain her self or at the very least say sorry or something. She was talking to my step father and when I came down I again tried to ask about the weed and they refused to tell me anything, only to give it back.

My mother sent me to my room saying I wasn't her father and that I couldn't demand anything. After about an hour they busted into my room yelling at me to give them it, again I refused so they started to tear my room apart looking for it ( while they were looking for it my step father threw a chair into a wall making a hole in it). Once they didn't find it my step father told me to get out, I didn't move so he came over and started to push me out of my room. Before I left the room he told me to take my clothes off since they bought them, so I started to take them off until I got to my pajamas bottoms he said that too but fortunately I remembered that my grandfather bought them :/. I was done undressing everything they bought me and my step-father continued to push me out of the house.

Once he pushed me out of the house (into the darkness of 12 AM and there was snow on the ground, I didn't have a clock on me). Luckily we just moved into a good neighborhood; however, due to it being a new neighborhood I didn't have any friends to go to and it's a ruralish area so the only town close by was about 10 miles away, so I just started running (to try and keep warm)to it since there was no other option. I went for about 2 minuets until my feet got cold (no socks or shoes)so I went back to the house. I sneaked in and went to the basement and just paced around because it was very hard trying to comprehend that this was actually happening.

They knew I was in house because I left foot prints since I didn't have shoes on outside. They told me to come up. They made me stand in the living room until about 4 AM trying to break me and so I would tell them where it was. They eventually half fell asleep (Not so much that I could sneak to my room but enough where they didn't care if I tried to sleep in a chair) Before they slept though my mother started to punch me while I was on the ground because I kept asking why they had it and wouldn't stop. Even after she did that I continued because it wasn't like things could really get any worse. At 7 AM my mother woke me up threw some clothes at me and told me to get in her car. I did so and she drove me to my grandmothers. She dropped me off and talked to my grandmothers for about an hour and told me that if me staying here wouldn't work then she would have to send me to my fathers. (I was in the 3rd quarter of school and the school near my grandmothers didn't have Latin, or honor courses so now I'll be a year behind in a language class)

After she left my grandmother told me to tell her what happened. After I told her I took a shower and while I was in it my mother called telling me to tell her where it was again I refused but my grandmother told me to so I did. A couple of days later my grandmother talked to me saying that what my mother did wasn't right and asked if I wanted he to take custody of me and told me to take my time to think as it would change my relationship with my mother.

I took about a week before I told her that I wanted to stay with her, It wasn't really hard due to what my mother did to me over a bag of weed;however, I did have to think about my brothers which was hard. My grandma to temporary custody and was working to get full custody and long story short the GAL thought it was in my best interest to go back and since the court values his opinion over my grandmothers lawyer and my mother as my well mother had more rights than my grandmother to me.

The court also wanted me to go to a therapist and I told him everything my mother did over years and he told me that a lot of it was considered abuse. At the moment I don't want a relationship with my mother but apparently being 16 the court doesn't care what I want. I told the GAL that I would be open to the Idea of moving back in with her after a year (the court ordered a family counselor to be assigned so I thought after a year of that it would help at least some)However the court is making me go back before school starts and is making me to start having visits with her, the first one is before the family counseling even starts (I'm not really sure how smart that is :/).

Hopefully you read all of this, I know it's a lot, (I had to tell it like 5 times now, but I have no proof any of it happened) any help on how to act or what to do would be a lot of help (right now my plan is to just be silent until she fucks up again record it and hopefully move in with my grandmothers again because I know it is a lot more stable and I won't have to have my schooling messed up due to moving in the middle of the year again, which is important to me and I know I'll never have to worry about anything like what my mother did happen there)

Shawn - USA



I'm sorry to hear you have been having problems with your mother and your family life. Although it isn't right for her to be smoking and keeping weed in the house, the only thing you can really do is to tell her you don't think it is something she should do. You can ask her to stop, but you can't force her, especially since she is an adult. Apparently, your step-father is also involved in smoking the weed.

Suppose your mother is always driving her car when drunk. You could ask her to stop, but even if you were over 21, you would have no right to take away her keys. It is her life.

I guess the choice is whether you want to live with your mother and step-father, or would be better off with your grandmother or father.

Right now, it seems like there are bad feelings with living with your mother. You could just keep a low profile until you get old enough to leave or move in with your grandmother.

One thing is that you should not try to monitor your mother's life or behavior. Although you are concerned about what she does, she is an adult and in control of her own life.

Moving to your grandmother right now may mess up your schooling, so you will have to decide on the best route to take.

By the way, the best way to deal with others who are not doing the right thing is to use diplomacy. A good way to start would be to say some thing like, "Are you sure that is a good idea?" If the response is, "It's my business," then you could say, "Well, I'm just concerned."

I hope these ideas help and that your family life and relationships will work out for the best.

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What motivates people to imagine the unknown?

Topic: Spiritual


July 30, 2013

I like for you to give an exposition on the idea and existence of the multiverse, and give a critical reaction to it.

In particular, what is the psychological motivation prompting some humans to imagine and seek to present it as a reality.

Marius - Philippines



Many people are curious to learn about the world around them, as well as outer space. Although we know of no way to verify if there are multiple universes or a multiverse, it is still a fascinating speculation. Also, the possibility of a multiverse does not go against any major religion.

The psychological motivation for such speculation is part of human curiosity and the desire to understand the unknown.

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