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Life Feedback

by Ron Kurtus

Readers have sent in a total of 112 comments and questions on Life issues. They are listed according to date.

You can read them to further your understanding of the subject.



List of next 15 letters

Title

Topic

Country

How can I overcome shyness? General Uganda
 
Attorney wants to be an international speaker Success Secrets Jamaica
 
Have problems with my life Formula India
 
Mother has been smoking weed General USA
 
What motivates people to imagine the unknown? Spiritual Philippines
 
Setting a goal for engineering grade Success Secrets India
 
Wants to write motivational books Success Secrets Nigeria
 
Learn from others General USA
 
How do I build strong confidence? General Ghana
 
Plans about my life General Canada
 
Teaching time management to children Designing Your Day India
 
I have definite answers to all the 5 questions 5 Questions India
 
Website said I had low intellect Intellect India
 
Can you help me with an online advice? Satisfying Life Cameroon
 
I have lost my confidence towards life Attitude USA
 

Next 15 letters

 




First 15 letters


General

How can I overcome shyness?

January 23, 2014

Question

How can overcome shyness in life because its making my life failur

RAYHAN - Uganda (24459)

Answer

Being shy can make you very uncomfortable when among strangers. But consider that you are not shy when you are with your family and friends. So, it is possible to act the same way with others.

Think of the things you enjoy doing, what you are interested in, and what you are good at. That is what is important about you. Also, when you achieve things, congratulate yourself on it, because that increases your confidence.

Some people are very talkative, while others are quieter. They say that the better sales person is not the one who talks a lot. Instead it is the quiet person who listens to the customer.

Try to observe people and listen to what they have to say. People like those who listen. Even if you are somewhat shy, you can ask questions that will soon allow you to reduce your shyness.

Overcoming shyness takes some effort, so you have to work at it.

A failure is a person who has given up. If you keep trying to improve, you will soon be able to deal with others, not be shy, and become a champion and success in life. I know that you have it in you to succeed.

I hope these idea help. Best wishes in a successful life.

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Success Secrets

Attorney wants to be an international speaker

December 19, 2013

Question

I am an Attorney and Talk Show host and was the Minister of Energy Mining and Telecommunications in Jamaica. I have decided to commit to be being a professional public speaker, although it could be argued that I am already one,on an International scale is there any advice as to how to go about doing this and being identified for engagements?

Clive - Jamaica (24357)

Answer

It is important to pick the type of audience to which you want to speak. Certainly, you need an appealing topic. Do you want to give motivational speeches, business speeches, keynote addresses related to your background.

It is good to develop a 15 minute speech that you can give to local business and service organizations for free. That allows you to hone a longer speech to give to larger groups.

Try to hear speakers in your area and get a chance to talk to them about speaking issues.

Read this article in the Jamaica Observer: "Former bar president admitted to National Speakers Association".

You can get some information from the National Speakers Association website. Unfortunately, they do not have a chapter in Jamaica.

You also might check with local Speakers Bureaus that can give you advice and perhaps help to book you.

I hope these ideas help. Best wishes for a successful speaking career.

Let me know how things turn out.

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Formula

Have problems with my life

October 14, 2013

Question

I have some problems regarding my personal life. Could I ask some questions. Kindly reply me at the earliest.

Nasif - India (24093)

Answer

I can try to give some ideas that may be able to help you.

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General

Mother has been smoking weed

August 3, 2013

Question

I'd like some advice on how to handle going back to my mothers house after being away for about 4 months.

It all started when I found what looked like a bag of weed in the basement and I took it because, well it looked like weed and I was furious, sad, confused (all kinds of things) because I knew it had to be my mothers (I grew up learning that drugs were bad and all of that stuff..). The day after I took it I looked up what weed looked like and it was weed (The room in the basement where I found it was locked as well so they knew something happened to it).

I kept it for another couple days (well buried it under snow outside because the smell actually started to leak from the bag) wondering how I should approach my mother about it, during that time I asked my younger brother what I should do because I had no one else to ask and I had no Idea what to do, but he didn't know what to do either. A couple more days passed and eventually at night when my mother was alone I just went up to her and told her I knew that she used weed, at first she denied it but I then told her that I had the bag and there was no point in trying to deny it.

After that she demanded I give it to her. I told her I wouldn't until she explained what she was doing with it (obviously she was smoking it, I'm not really sure what I wanted to hear). After that she went downstairs, about 30 minuets later I went down as well because I was getting very angry that she wouldn't explain her self or at the very least say sorry or something. She was talking to my step father and when I came down I again tried to ask about the weed and they refused to tell me anything, only to give it back.

My mother sent me to my room saying I wasn't her father and that I couldn't demand anything. After about an hour they busted into my room yelling at me to give them it, again I refused so they started to tear my room apart looking for it ( while they were looking for it my step father threw a chair into a wall making a hole in it). Once they didn't find it my step father told me to get out, I didn't move so he came over and started to push me out of my room. Before I left the room he told me to take my clothes off since they bought them, so I started to take them off until I got to my pajamas bottoms he said that too but fortunately I remembered that my grandfather bought them :/. I was done undressing everything they bought me and my step-father continued to push me out of the house.

Once he pushed me out of the house (into the darkness of 12 AM and there was snow on the ground, I didn't have a clock on me). Luckily we just moved into a good neighborhood; however, due to it being a new neighborhood I didn't have any friends to go to and it's a ruralish area so the only town close by was about 10 miles away, so I just started running (to try and keep warm)to it since there was no other option. I went for about 2 minuets until my feet got cold (no socks or shoes)so I went back to the house. I sneaked in and went to the basement and just paced around because it was very hard trying to comprehend that this was actually happening.

They knew I was in house because I left foot prints since I didn't have shoes on outside. They told me to come up. They made me stand in the living room until about 4 AM trying to break me and so I would tell them where it was. They eventually half fell asleep (Not so much that I could sneak to my room but enough where they didn't care if I tried to sleep in a chair) Before they slept though my mother started to punch me while I was on the ground because I kept asking why they had it and wouldn't stop. Even after she did that I continued because it wasn't like things could really get any worse. At 7 AM my mother woke me up threw some clothes at me and told me to get in her car. I did so and she drove me to my grandmothers. She dropped me off and talked to my grandmothers for about an hour and told me that if me staying here wouldn't work then she would have to send me to my fathers. (I was in the 3rd quarter of school and the school near my grandmothers didn't have Latin, or honor courses so now I'll be a year behind in a language class)

After she left my grandmother told me to tell her what happened. After I told her I took a shower and while I was in it my mother called telling me to tell her where it was again I refused but my grandmother told me to so I did. A couple of days later my grandmother talked to me saying that what my mother did wasn't right and asked if I wanted he to take custody of me and told me to take my time to think as it would change my relationship with my mother.

I took about a week before I told her that I wanted to stay with her, It wasn't really hard due to what my mother did to me over a bag of weed;however, I did have to think about my brothers which was hard. My grandma to temporary custody and was working to get full custody and long story short the GAL thought it was in my best interest to go back and since the court values his opinion over my grandmothers lawyer and my mother as my well mother had more rights than my grandmother to me.

The court also wanted me to go to a therapist and I told him everything my mother did over years and he told me that a lot of it was considered abuse. At the moment I don't want a relationship with my mother but apparently being 16 the court doesn't care what I want. I told the GAL that I would be open to the Idea of moving back in with her after a year (the court ordered a family counselor to be assigned so I thought after a year of that it would help at least some)However the court is making me go back before school starts and is making me to start having visits with her, the first one is before the family counseling even starts (I'm not really sure how smart that is :/).

Hopefully you read all of this, I know it's a lot, (I had to tell it like 5 times now, but I have no proof any of it happened) any help on how to act or what to do would be a lot of help (right now my plan is to just be silent until she fucks up again record it and hopefully move in with my grandmothers again because I know it is a lot more stable and I won't have to have my schooling messed up due to moving in the middle of the year again, which is important to me and I know I'll never have to worry about anything like what my mother did happen there)

Shawn - USA (23905)

Answer

I'm sorry to hear you have been having problems with your mother and your family life. Although it isn't right for her to be smoking and keeping weed in the house, the only thing you can really do is to tell her you don't think it is something she should do. You can ask her to stop, but you can't force her, especially since she is an adult. Apparently, your step-father is also involved in smoking the weed.

Suppose your mother is always driving her car when drunk. You could ask her to stop, but even if you were over 21, you would have no right to take away her keys. It is her life.

I guess the choice is whether you want to live with your mother and step-father, or would be better off with your grandmother or father.

Right now, it seems like there are bad feelings with living with your mother. You could just keep a low profile until you get old enough to leave or move in with your grandmother.

One thing is that you should not try to monitor your mother's life or behavior. Although you are concerned about what she does, she is an adult and in control of her own life.

Moving to your grandmother right now may mess up your schooling, so you will have to decide on the best route to take.

By the way, the best way to deal with others who are not doing the right thing is to use diplomacy. A good way to start would be to say some thing like, "Are you sure that is a good idea?" If the response is, "It's my business," then you could say, "Well, I'm just concerned."

I hope these ideas help and that your family life and relationships will work out for the best.

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Spiritual

What motivates people to imagine the unknown?

July 30, 2013

Question

I like for you to give an exposition on the idea and existence of the multiverse, and give a critical reaction to it.

In particular, what is the psychological motivation prompting some humans to imagine and seek to present it as a reality.

Marius - Philippines (23895)

Answer

Many people are curious to learn about the world around them, as well as outer space. Although we know of no way to verify if there are multiple universes or a multiverse, it is still a fascinating speculation. Also, the possibility of a multiverse does not go against any major religion.

The psychological motivation for such speculation is part of human curiosity and the desire to understand the unknown.

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Success Secrets

Setting a goal for engineering grade

July 3, 2013

Question

I have question that my 3 semmester for my engineering is going to start.
So we don't have G.p.a system , we have percentage system .
I AIM TO SCORE 89 PERCENT.
i had made an action plan.
The question is that when i try to follow that i feel a doubt that if it would work or not
Maybe there is some other good method to achieve it quickly
This thought tense me and demotivates me to follow my action plan
What should i do?

Harsha - India (23826)

Answer

It is good that you have a goal of the score you want to achieve. Write down that goal and post it where you can see it, as a reminder.

Your action plan should consist of the amount of time you will spend studying each day, a way to verify what you have learned, and methods to study for exams. Note that you also should set aside time for relaxation, so that you don't get stale.

You can monitor your progress with results from homework and tests. Giving yourself congratulations on doing well helps to motivate your further.

If you have some set-backs, such that it may not be possible to achieve your goal, make some adjustments, so that you will continue on your mission to achieve good grades.

Do not get tense during this process. Think of it as similar to an engineering project where you seek certain results.

Best wishes on doing well in your classes. I am sure you will.

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Success Secrets

Wants to write motivational books

July 1, 2013

Question

Well,sir great jobs you have been doing seems unbetreating especially to someone like me,i love motivational books and i can't tell how it makes people succeed.But i have a question,i want to become an author writing motivational books,please sir, motivate me how would i start?

Ananwude - Nigeria (23821)

Answer

The best way to become an author writing motivational books is to get write down some inspiring stories of people who have been motivated to improve their lives or to help others.

Look in your own community and ask people questions like: "How did you get started in your business or job?" or "Have you ever overcome some difficulty and what motivated you to do that?" You can think of other questions that will fit.

You can tell then the reason for asking is for a book you are writing.

Also, write down your own thoughts on how you have been motivated or inspired to advance yourself.

Look at our lessons in Succeed in Writing to help you.

Best wishes for success in your book.

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General

Learn from others

March 25, 2013

Question

Learn from others how to solve your problems <---- A true Champion
Ron good work ! I like that page.

- USA (23561)

Answer

Thanks for your comment. It is a good philosophy.

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General

How do I build strong confidence?

January 3, 2013

Question

How do are build strong confidence in myself or in whatsoever am doing?

Otis - Ghana (23097)

Answer

First of all, pick an area in which you want to be confident. Is it in speaking to a group? Is it doing a dangerous task? Is it winning a game?

You have to start with a specific area or goal. Then, starting with easy tasks, complete them and praise yourself for the accomplishment. Soon you will become so confident in that area, that you can build your confidence in another area.

One area of importance is to have confidence in being able to overcome the difficult. That works in all areas.

I hope these ideas help you become confident in things you do.

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General

Plans about my life

November 13, 2012

Question

Hello Sir, I have my email back and some time and some money to burn
I was thinking about some experiments with aeronautical engineering and astronautical engineering most of airflow(camber) and electricity/
electrolysis , light and fuels even biology, I was thinking about maby going back to school its about 15 mins away college/university
having a hard time to make my mind up any ideas on a spot to start and what course would you recommend to someone that is all over the place and is in need of a direction.Thanks for the help and if you need any help with anything ever ask I will try my best ty bye.

- Canada (23034)

Answer

It is good that you have many ideas about things you would like to do. However, you really need to lay out your priorities and what you think is important and valuable to you and your life.

Write down each of the things you were thinking of doing on a separate sheet of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. Then list the advantages (pros) and disadvantages (cons) of each item. This will help you decide whether to pursue the activity or to put it to the side.

Best wishes for making some good decisions and then acting on those decision.

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Designing Your Day

Teaching time management to children

October 4, 2012

Question

Thank you for all the information on the site, it is very useful. I want to know how to teach time management to the kids. So thye won't miss the things they want to do and also complete the things on time.
I have 11 and 9 yrs old boys.
Thank you.

- India (22972)

Answer

Children often imitate who their parents manage time. Parents who are habitually late usually have children with the same attitude toward being on time. But still many kids will procrastinate about doing unpleasant (to them) tasks.

Being able to do things they want to do is a good motivation to get things done on time. Let them guess how long a task will take, so that they have a goal to achieve with the promise of fun time afterwards.

Let them read Getting Your Homework Done to give them some tips on the subject.

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5 Questions

I have definite answers to all the 5 questions

February 22, 2012

Question

Dear Sir, I have definite answers to all the 5 questions.

1.What am I thankful for today? A: I am thankful that I found this site today among so many others!
2.What did I learn today? A: I learnt to ask these five questions!
3.Where did I do a good job?A: I did a good job of reading all the lessons and answering among other jobs!
4.Who was I valuable to today? A: Well....to myself?!
5.How did I take care of myself today?A: I practised all that I learnt from this lesson !
THANKS!

Radha - India (22439)

Answer

I'm glad you found the 5 Questions useful. You are on your way to becoming a true champion in life!

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Intellect

Website said I had low intellect

February 8, 2012

Question

Today I viewed a site(www.predictMyFuture.com) where the result that i viewed said that my intellect is very low,not even minimum intellect i possess and to some extent it might be true. Can you help me out in becoming like other intellectuals...
This will be of much help to me if you can guide me as iam facing much problems in this regard...can anyone help me...

vijay - India (22413)

Answer

You need to be careful of websites or people who say they can predict things about you, especially if they charge money to do so.

Since you are using a computer and the Internet, you already have a greater intellect than a majority of people.

Intellect means the ability to come to correct conclusions and to solve problems. A person who uses intelligence is using thought and reasoning abilities. However,knowledge is also very important in becoming an intellectual. This comes from extensive reading in various subjects.

I feel that the people at www.predictMyFuture.com are really the ones with low intellect for making such judgements.

I am sure that you have great potential, especially since you are interested in improving yourself.

Be curious, read, and observe, so that you are able to talk about various subjects. Others will then think of you as an intellectual.

Best wishes in your success.

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Satisfying Life

Can you help me with an online advice?

December 27, 2011

Question

please can you help me with an online advicer

mindine - Cameroon (22292)

Answer

We have a number of articles and lessons on how to make the most out of your life. Feel free to look at those topics of interest. The more you learn, the better you become.

You can ask some specific questions, which I will try to answer.

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Attitude

I have lost my confidence towards life

September 16, 2011

Question

i have lost my confidence towards life.actually im depressed for i could'nt make a good career .nw that i m married, unable 2 manage my thoughts i have low self esteem .whatever i think unable to workout .no one to share my problems nor guide me no improvement in my personality . i wish to enjoy my life free of mind pls help.

- USA (21991)

Answer

First of all, the fact that you are married means that someone loved you, had common interests, and saw potential in you. These are blessings. Also, you probably have relatives and family. Do not disregard them. Appreciate their existence.

List all the things you have achieved, even small items. You are better than your think. Do you realize all the people who don't even have the skill to use the Internet?

Do people you know have problems? Listen to them tell about their problems. Then, in return, they might listen to your problems.

You gain confidence and esteem by recognizing each thing you have completed and praising yourself for the accomplishment. It slowly build up your confidence to do bigger and better things.

Finally, sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. Often a doctor can prescribe medication to get you on track again.

I hope these idea help you become the person that you are destined to become.

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